Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
