I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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