So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
