O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
