Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Ketchup is God's man juice
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
