just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
