is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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