susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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