Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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