I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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