who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just had sex bonerless
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.