grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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