I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.