I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
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Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
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he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity