i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
sarcasm needs its own font
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions