It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
