didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
