A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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