my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
