They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
