dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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