I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
