I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You took a bar mat shot.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
