Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
