I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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