Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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