It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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