Tell her she can't have a vagina
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
