I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
