Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
