Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
