I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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