i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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