Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
