I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That accounts for only three of the penises
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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