Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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