Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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