Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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