You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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