You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
