The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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