I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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