i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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