What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
