they need to just BURY HIM!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
