He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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