If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
