I don't think brook has ever known best
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
