Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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