We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
