So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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