do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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