this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
