his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
