Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
