Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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