There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
