apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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