did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
