Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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