her vagine was all disorganized.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
