we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
