he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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