what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
