As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
