Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
