I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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