I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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